


home is wherever you are

by hellsnightmare



Category: Jongens | Boys (2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 08:45:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5369048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellsnightmare/pseuds/hellsnightmare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sieger is bad at a lot of things, but one thing he's good at is pushing people away. <em>(Marc refuses to get pushed away.)</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	home is wherever you are

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.
> 
> It's been a while since I've seen this movie, and this work has been lying around for months, so I decided to post it, it's too bad that there aren't more fics about Jongens.
> 
> I'd love some constructive criticism.

Sieger would have climbed the highest mountains, he would’ve swam the deepest rivers and jumped off the highest cliffs if only to get Marc to stay. 

Sieger was aware that he had messed up, he knew it very well. He was also painfully aware that things might never be the same again, that he and Marc might never work again after this. 

When Sieger and Jessica were kissing, it was nothing like when Sieger and Marc was kissing. Marc's lips were different, it was not like kissing Jessica was bad, but Sieger didn't feel for her as he did for Marc. Jessica just didn't seem to get that, and Sieger didn’t tell her either.

He tried to make her understand, but he’s not good with words, he's never been. He's too shy, too afraid to hurt anyone that eventually he just does more harm than good by staying quiet, by just following the lines that are painted out in front of him, leading him in the wrong directions, away from everything he truly wants. 

So Sieger tries to come up with something to tell Marc - anything, really, but he can't. A lump forms in his throat and the words just get stuck. No matter how hard he tries, harder than ever before, he just can't. So he screams at Marc as if everything is his fault, and he shoves him away. 

Marc is stronger than Sieger, bigger built too, so when Sieger pushes him away, Marc only stumbles a bit out of surprise. He knows that Sieger isn't much of a talker, and he knows Sieger too well to believe that Jessica is what Sieger truly wants, but it still hurts. It hurts that Sieger can't talk to him, and it hurts that Sieger hates himself for everything he's doing because he's too deep in his own self-loathing to see that Marc loves Sieger back. But Marc doesn't give up.

Sieger eventually finds his words. Maybe they’re not the ones he’d wanted, but he’d found something to say and he wasn’t going to hold it back. He takes Eddy's motorbike and he drives straight home to Marc. With tears in his eyes and his hands tightly curled into the fabric of his shirt, Marc opens the door and he just looks at him, surprise flashing over Marc's face at the sight of a now crying Sieger. 

It doesn't take more than two seconds for Sieger to throw himself into Marc's torso, chests colliding and with his face buried in Marc's shoulder, his own arms tightly wrapped around Marc's neck as he cries softly. 

"I'm sorry" - the two words comes out softly, brokenly, as he cries. He keeps repeating them, even after Marc forgives him. Marc's arms are tightly wrapped around Sieger's smaller body, and after a while he leads Sieger into the house, they need to talk. 

Sieger gets it, he really does. But that doesn't stop the ball of nervousness, the anxiety and the self-loathing to grow in his stomach, all the way up to his throat. He tenses, and Marc notices. Like he does with a lot of things. 

The talking was mostly done by Marc, explaining how he'd felt when Sieger did what he did, and sometimes Sieger just kept saying that he was sorry, and he just looked so small, and Marc knew that Sieger didn't mean to hurt anyone, but he accidentally hurt everyone, though he mostly hurt himself.

"I'm sorry" Sieger had told Marc softly, whispering it against Marc's chests probably thinking that he was asleep, hours after they had talked everything out.

"I was scared..." came the next few words from Sieger's mouth, and Marc couldn't pretend to sleep any more after those three words.

"Of what?" Marc had mumbled as he’d caressed Sieger's scalp, burying his fingers in Sieger's thick, brown hair and massaging slightly. He could hear the surprised inhale from Sieger, but he didn't back down, not this time.

"I was scared that it was all a dream. That you were playing with me, and that nothing would last. I didn't, and I don't, want to be alone." Sieger had whispered, and some things just suddenly clicked inside of Marc. He suddenly understood perfectly why Sieger hadn't told Jessica no, and why he'd still been trying to stay with Marc. 

"Sieger, look at me, please," Marc had said suddenly, looking down at Sieger, who had already been looking up at Marc with wide, blue eyes and long, dark eyelashes. The bags under his eyes were very visible, and Marc could tell that Sieger must have slept pretty bad for a while now. 

"You are not alone," Marc had told him, voice steady and his gaze nothing but sincere. "I'm with you, no matter what. You don't ever have to do something that you don't want to do, no matter how happy the person you're doing it for will be. If it doesn't make you happy, it's not worth it," Marc had continued, and he could see how Sieger's eyes glazed over, but Sieger didn't break eye contact like he often did out of embarrassment and nervousness. 

"I love you, Marc," Sieger had said, gaze steady but voice a bit wavering, as if he was on the verge of tears but was trying his hardest not to let them go.

"It's okay to cry, Sieger. I love you too," Marc had answered without any hesitation, he'd known it for a while now, but he hadn't known when to say it until this moment.


End file.
